Spasticated

Wednesday

Eleventh ( 11th ) -- tHis entry is nonsense

Actualli i dun have ath to blog abt... but once again, feeling very sian. haha` I think my rubber band has stretched till it's max and now i need to recoil abit... maybe cos i feel like i've been giving out alot for the past few days, and i need to relax and not try to be nice... I feel like I need to talk to someone but there isn't reallie ath to talk abt. haha` funny right. I mean... just to feel like i'm not all alone... but then again, i dun wanna bore my frens to death or subconsciously make them feel upset because of me -- induced upsetness. yupyup, so tt's why i'm here~

I think today I feel damn sian because I felt quite errm... extra, like i shouldn't be there like tt. I mean if u rather spend time with somebody else, then why did u ask me in the first place? then when 3 of us tog, i get the feeling that u rather talk to him... and i just feel left out, extra~ i dunno? just dun feel good lar~ then still gotta try to act frenly, if not the atmosphere will be super awkward... wah kao... bleah...

I think it was because of this tt's why i feel super sian today... then sort of lazy to go far for dinner... feel so sorry towards pm... sighz`

1/18/2006 12:17:00 AM
catch a little raindrop...

Friday

Purest of Pain

Sorry didn't mean to call you but I couldn't fight it
I guess I was weak, couldn't even hide it
and so i surrendered just to hear your voice

Dunno how many times I've said I'm gonna live without you
Maybe someone else is standing there beside you
but there's something baby that you need to know

That deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you, it's all that I'm asking

Vida~ gimme back fantasy
the courage that I need to live
the air that I breathe

Carino mio~ my world's become so empty
the days are so cold and lonely
each night I taste
the purest of pain...

I wish I could tell you I'm feeling better everyday
That it didn't hurt when you walked away
but to tell you the truth I can't find my way

and deep inside me I feel like I'm dying
I have to see you, it's all that I'm asking

1/13/2006 08:26:00 PM
catch a little raindrop...

Wednesday

Ninth

Lol, so much for having interesting titles for my posts` Okay~ last night my nj classmates played mJ at my place` tHere were me, huijun, ruhui, vIeve, grace, shiyao and pwc... well, it was tiringly fun` and i ate super alot of supper... sIgh... there goes my healthy lifestyle regime...

aNyway, i was reading this book by John Gray, "Men are from Mars and wOmen are from venus"... I was on this chapter about scoring points with the opposite sex. and he said that every men keeps a scoreboard within himself either conciously or unconciously... in this scoreboard, whenever he does sth which he feels will make his partner happy, he adds points to himself, say... maybe 10 points if he buys her a ring ( my own eg)... And his partner earns points on his scoreboard by doing things that pleases him, such as givin him appreciation or admiration. (I think this is quite true, at least for me... haha) Okay, anyway, when the man's points is low, the man will be willing to do many things for the woman unconditionally... and when he feels that he has earned a respectable amt of pts, he will just lay back and relax, and allow his partner to satisfy him, sort of giving her a chance to even out the score... In the man's mind, he thinks that she will stop giving when the points are almost even out. however, in the venusian mind, when the man stops giving, she'll give more and expect the man to understand and to start giving again... tHus, this will cause the martian to feel that his pts are still alot higher than the venusians, and will then take a break from giving... This explains why most men appear more active at the start of the r/s and tend to become passive towards the end`

this is like, WOW~ and i've always wondered why guys always become more passive towards the end~ and it also explains why i am more willing to offer my help to new frens more than old frens... haha ok, tt sounds bad... i mean when i help old frens i will think like what have they done for me and if i should reallie help them, if it's realli out of the way... hmmz` yar~ at least now tt i know, maybe i should take note ` yupyup

1/11/2006 02:16:00 AM
catch a little raindrop...

Monday

Eighth

Wah~ like very long nevEr update liao... Anyway, we are the champions for IHG Soccer~ yupyup. tHe other games are still going on and i'm not reallie gonna blog bout them` Actualli i wanted to do a blog of pictures on 2005, but i gave up cos gotta rescale many many of them... reallie is cannot make it... maybe i'll try later...
I'm waiting for my supper now~ Jason is reallie taking his tIme sia...
Anyway tmr is the first day of school for sem2 05/06. It is also the last sem for mani of my frens who are taking 3 yr course` like ruhui and vieve... okok... like onli them. haha. so not mani... since hakka and huijun are going one more yr for honours... i think... ok~ jason is finally back~ umm umm first` maybe after tt go sleep... tmr morn lect at 0900h... sIanz~

1/09/2006 01:53:00 AM
catch a little raindrop...